Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Jeff Fitzgerald is AAJ's resident genius and is often consulted on jazz-related matters of national unimportance.
How does one become the Dean of American Jazz Humorists©®? I am often asked, as I relax in my stately plantation manor in Ol' Virginny, wearing a white linen suit, drinking a mint julep and saying things like hush yo' mouth and lawzamussy just whenever the mood strikes me.
The answer is simple, I say, to no one in particular since the person who asked the question originally has inevitably lost interest and gotten on with their lives by the time I get around to addressing them, what with all the Southerning I am obliged by tradition to carry out daily.
What answer is simple? asks someone else, who has just wandered in by mistake, looking for the Waffle House that Mapquest tells everyone is located here.
How to become the Dean of American Jazz Humorists©® I say, starting the whole megillah all over again.
Pretty soon, evening comes, and we all retire to the front porch to strum the banjo and reminisce about the old days. And the real question at hand, how exactly did I become the Dean of American Jazz Humorists©®, goes unanswered yet again. Do you honestly think I'd give up the secret, when I've got such a plum gig as the undisputed, undefeated heavyweight jazz humorist champeen of the world?
Hush yo' mouth.